i thought i'd post the poem that gave this page its name:
i called it despair

i'll be here till morning
as for now i cannot sleep
but your drooping eyes can no longer hold my gaze
and i am stuck here
avoiding my dreams
alone

i lay awake,
i remember
a child portrait
of wisdom deep knowledge
a tapestry of sadness

wash over us
flood of tears

and now i hold you
all i have is now
and my past
lush and dark
creeps over my shoulders
while your eyelids
reflect dark trees
bare skeleton trees
holes in poetry
a deep ditch dug
in spider-legged ink spills
by distant tragedy

our love absorbed
engraved
why can't we remember?
all i have is the dreams i had of you
the feeling i get with you
why can't we remember?
we we are so sad

a vision
a dream
our past
yours- hollow like the feeling
cold and empty
mine- a serene mellow tragedy
depressed by a new body
maybe ear
maybe lip
maybe tongue
maybe tongue

my vision - forest and dirt
the place in my mind where i connect with these
messages of memories
is it a place from a novel i read when i was young?
or that i wrote?
a disconnected voice asks why
someone that was loved died there
i died there
and you saw

s
i...
yes?
love you
i love you too
symbol

what are our names?
trust me.

i'll be here till morning, mourning
dreaming and awakening
sighing with relief to touch your hair
to know you're there
but as morning grows old
i forget your name

and i anticipate the moment we say goodbye
but i know it will only be in death
yet again...
and the mildew creeps
and we will have to live without
each other for years
yet again

when these days are worth so much to me
i dream i find you in eternity
for now,
we'll be here till morning